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LDS Child Counselor: Helping Children Like Themselves

As one of the top LDS child counselors we know that one of the most important opinions a child has is his view of himself. Children with high self-esteem view the world with optimism, confidence, and an expectation of success. Children with low self-esteem are apt to distrust their own ideas and abilities and be very tentative in life situations.

Every child needs to feel lovable and capable. To the degree that these feelings are present, self-esteem is enhanced; to the degree they are lacking, self-esteem is threatened.

One  way to help your child to help them experience individual success.  Not group success as epitomized by the idea that “everyone wins and gets a participation trophy”, but individual success.  Their success can come in little ways like learning to put their own shoes on or making their  bed.  The parents part in this is to give the child opportunities to succeed and administer a large dose of “att-a-boy or att-a-girl” praise, A well timed “good job” can help your child to realize their ability to overcome obstacles and to feel good about themselves.  Look for the opportunities to praise your child for their hard fought achievements or consistent positive behaviors.   And remember the best kind of praise closely follows the action and is specific in nature.  Instead of just saying “good job”.. elaborate… Ie “Good job!  I loved how you kept working hard till you figured it out!”  And a more powerful idea.. Praise your child front of someone they care about.  This kind of praise is one of the most powerful reinforcers of behavior.  Ie.   to Grandma while your daughter is sitting at the kitchen counter.  “Mom did I tell you about what happened to Amy today?  She had a really hard project she worked on for the school science fair.  She completed it all by herself and got an award for her project! “  **Now look over at Amy.. ear to ear grinning!**  You can have such a positive and last impact on your child and how they feel about their ability to solve, fix, follow through and achieve!   

There are some things parents can do to enhance their children’s view of themselves. Here are a few ideas:

  • React positively to your children, minimizing weaknesses or deficiencies.
  • Concentrate on your children’s individual strengths, avoiding negative comparisons with brothers and sisters.
  • Allow opportunities for personal growth and encourage your children to do things for themselves.
  • Spend quality time with your children. Watch them for praise opportunities.
  • Take time for training. Young children need someone to help them learn, be their mentor!
  • Teach your children to look for the good in others and to praise others.
  • Teach your children to look for the good in themselves and not dwell upon their limitations.
  • Openly express your love for your children, both in word and action.

Learning to like yourself is one of the most essential of all skills.  Children learn this by the way others treat them.  An experienced LDS child counselor can help your child to know they are loved and accepted for who they are. When they love themselves they can then go out and contribute to the world in constructive ways.  Helping our children to love themselves is is the most essential of all skills. It is a concept children learn from the way parents (and other adults) treat them. Children first need to know that they are loved and accepted for who they are. With this as a basis, their natural impulse is to take that love and learn to contribute it to the world in constructive ways. It is not difficult then, to see that the best gift we can give our children is a feeling of liking themselves.

For more information on helping your child like themselves, contact an LDS child counselor.  At Insight Child & Family Counseling we have the experience and tools necessary to help your child develop a healthy self esteem.  Call us at 972-426-9500 or visit our website at today!

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