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LDS Family Counselor: Having a Happy Marriage

Having a happy family is something many people wish for, but simply don’t know how to get.  Oftentimes the relationship that needs the most attention is the marriage.  As an LDS family counselor, we know the importance of cultivating a loving marriage so that you can have a loving family.  Below are some suggestions for wives on what they can do to contribute to a happy marriage.

Wives Tips for a Happy Marriage

Respect your husband.  One of your husband’s greatest needs is to feel respected and especially by you.  While he will do many things in your marriage you can respect, he will also make mistakes because he is human. If you give him respect.. even when he does not deserve it he will be motivated to earn that respect. That is not to say you need to pretend when his choices are good when they are not.  But communicate those ideas with respect. It makes all the difference to how he will receive and act on your message.

Guard your heart.  –Guard your heart and do not share your problems with other men.  When you share your problems, especially marital problems with another man, you are igniting a man’s natural tendency rescue the “Damsel in Distress”    The problem is when you feel rescued you feel emotionally attached to the rescuer and distant from your husband.  That is a gateway to destruction of your marriage.

Forgive.  – No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances  – you will keep resentment from growing.

Over-communicate.  –Men talk directly while women tend to talk indirectly. I will let you in on a secret… Your husband cannot read your mind and you need to directly communicate your needs. You may be surprise to learn he is more than happy to help you with your needs if he understands what you need!  So rule of thumb.. stop expecting him to read your mind and communicate directly…. you may be surprised how well that works!

Schedule a regular date night.  – This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Get dressed up… remember men are attracted to women visually!   

Learn his love language.  – Everyone has a LOVE LANGUAGE. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  If you do not know what a “Love language” is… Google it!

Never talk negatively about him.   If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. While your family and friends love you, they are not the most objective people to give advice. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.

Choose to love.  – There may be many days when you may wake up and do not feel in love anymore.  Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment.

When you are struggling to have a happy family, take some time to ask yourself what you are doing to contribute to your marriage.  Its okay to reach out for help if you need it.  Call an LDS family counselor or visit us online at for free resources and tools.

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