There are a number of reasons you might seek the help of an LDS marriage counselor, not all of which are catastrophic. In addition to adultery and addiction, you should also get help with issues that are wearing down, not just blowing up, your marriage. Negativity, bickering and secret-keeping are unhealthy and can, over time, cause a rift that can be difficult to heal; but there’s one insidious marital issue that is seldom addressed and that is boredom.
What Makes A Marriage Boring
Every couple eventually comes to the painful realization that the passion they felt for each other before and at the beginning of their marriage has changed or faded. Losing this spark of attraction and sexual desire can lead to questioning the basis of the marriage. If you no longer feel excited to be with your spouse, do you ask yourself, “What else is there?” Even if you aren’t asking yourself that question, the daily grind of life that includes dealing with children, work, bills and running out of time for anything other than everyday tasks can make you wonder about the number of years that stretch ahead of you in which you’ll be doing the same things every day, over and over again.
Remember The Good Old Days
Think about the hopes and dreams you and your spouse used to have. Did you once dream of building your own home or traveling to a foreign country? Talk to your spouse to find out if you both still have the same hopes and desires and make a plan to pursue at least one of them. While you can’t turn back time to the excitement of your first date, you can create a new spark with a shared goal for a new adventure. If necessary, you may want to develop new goals that take into account a growing family or financial commitments.
Live In The Moment
If you are bored in your marriage, you may need to adjust your thinking about what it takes to make a marriage interesting. You know that tedious, everyday tasks have to be done but that doesn’t mean you can’t take joy in them when you accomplish them together. You can also throw something different into the mix like a new hobby or activity that can break up the monotony of your usual schedule. Think back to the last time you and your spouse had a fun time together and try doing the same thing again. Most importantly, if you’re stuck in a rut you can’t seem to find your way out of, get the help of an LDS marriage counselor who can guide you toward a resolution of your problem.
If your marriage isn’t what it was at the beginning and you’re afraid that you may be weighed down or even torn apart by boredom, make an effort to rekindle the spark with new pursuits and a new way of thinking. If you need professional help, call an LDS marriage counselor at Insight Child & Family Counseling at (972) 426-9500. You can also visit www.j9n.83e.myftpupload.com to find out more about our practice and how we can help.